Spud
First there was Plumb, and then there was Spud,
then Key, and William-the-not-Orange,
now it is rub-a-dub-dub in a tub.
Though Helen launched a thousand sporanges,
Jacinda is Melancholia
contemplating Durer’s eclipse.
Spud was the hands pressed in no holier
than-thou-prayer of Durer, from wrist to tips
in one caress. Now we back to Plumb,
and the secular offspring of the manse
who are ever virulently glum,
at the country’s Maori occupants.
Though Spud was at times a mistaken bloke,
the cornerstone of the temple is broke.
Woodford Halse - 23 November 2025
In memory of the Rt. Hon Jim Bolger ONZ ( 1935 - 2025 ) who was Prime Minister of New Zealand 1990 - 1997. His passing on 15 October has left New Zealand with an uncomfortable feeling. Why is nobody even like that now ? Vatican II Catholicism of a moderate conservative Woytilian kind, and engagement with Maori, made him a statesman.
He was unfair on me, although I did his work for him in 1997, but that is beside the point. We feel lesser for lacking that prudence and good sense.
I refer to Maurice Gee’s novel Plumb, ( 1978 ) containing many National Party and Presbyterian themes, which has claims to be one of New Zealand’s finest and most indicative novels.
And I refer of course to Albrecht Durer’s engraving Melencholia ( 1514 ) and his Study of Praying Hands ( Betende Haende ) c 1508, a copy of which he hung on the wall of his Prime Minister’s office. After the Pope Francis business, Pope Leo XIV might consider what makes a Catholic statesman or stateswoman. His Holy Roman Emperor after all is Friedrich Merz.
The other Prime Ministers I refer to are Rt. Hon Helen Clark ( 1999 - 2008 ), Sir John Key (2008-16 ), Sir William English ( 2016 - 17 ), and Dame Jacinda Arden ( 2017 - 23 ). No need to say who the three men in a tub are.
If any think I am being pejorative about Jacinda Ardern above, they are primitive and ignorant. I am assimilating her to the wise and holy goddess figure in Milton’s Il Penseroso. Similarly with Helen Clark, her PMship brought about a period of genuine creativity, so the metaphor of fern fronds and spores is appropriate. If it suits the Silver Ferns, it can work here as well.